so, instead of immediately grabbing a cold brew and going about forgetting about the work week, i immediately spent my time febrezing the grass outside the kitchen window. i would of used the hose, but the lazy landscaper lacerated the hose last week. fucker.
well, the febreze didn't work too well but i chinned up and sucked down a few brews contemplating new worries. before moving on to the room temp sam's keg, i decided to do the dishes. i'm not sure of my reasoning, i just didn't want to cook any dish with essence of cat possession. and then... BAM, in the window appears the culprit. a white cat with gray spots staring down at me... as if laughing and not feeling an ounce of fear that would be key to his survival. i looked for the closes thing to throw, a caked fork unwashed in my left hand, and i ran out the side door like... well, i'm super.
the fucker just looked at me while i rounded the side of the house, acting cute... thinking i was rushing to scratch his chin. but the thing is... he was acting. i saw through this and i threw the fork. the fucker jetted at the last second and the fork lodged itself into the screen window. still running, i pried the fork from the window and continued the chase. as i rounded the back-right corner of the house, by the driveway, the cat found my car and hid underneath it. ugh. the neighbor was there too, on the other side of the fence... looking at me running around the house with my spear/fork. her judging eyes convinced me, yea... now i should go inside the house, drink a beer and plan. ugh. i walked a super walk of defeat back into the house.
saturday morning. i had an awesome day planned. no need for details, it was just going to be an awesome day. and to begin this awesome day right, i was going to start it off with an egg sandwich. i just had to pick up some eggs at the grocery store. i start driving and one block away from home the check engine light comes on. by the time i reached the second block, my engine began to hesitate and i lost acceleration. by main street, my car stopped cold. 199,998 miles. fuck. i've been thinking about 200,000 for the last 15,000 miles. 15,000 miles at an average speed of 60 mph, equals 10 days in a car. how can i be deprived of this! the fucking cat! i opened the hood hoping to find its tail wrapped around my alternator belt, a bleeding mess. but no. nothing. i looked at some other things, i called my dad... but there is no explanation.
at that very moment, i proclaimed: fuck this. i will not be defeated. 199,998 miles. i just need these tires to turn around 1.5 miles. i figure 1.5, because the 8 on the odometer was right in the middle. so, being super... my awesome plans were put to the side while i spent my day pushing my car up and down traffic-less tyler avenue. i reached 200,000 this weekend. and i also met my arch nemesis.
